Where is blank, blank?

Where is blank, blank? Where is blank, blank? Here am I. Here am I.
          How are you today sir? Very well I say sir. Run away - run away...

This little lymric seems to accurately sum up the relationship with me and my blog.
Sorry so to my three subscribers, I have been missing in action - running away. But I am back on the grind, past my personal problems, and here to inspire you just as you inspire me.

So for the past week I have been at the gym working out hard, taking my supplements, and taking care of the "business." I'll be detailing more about that soon. My daughter is in competition with the computer right now and my message to her and all my kids, you are more important that the computer. So I am signing off now!

Nothing can keep me from it...

Can you tell that I haven't been on the grind? Can you tell I have been missing my committment to get healthy? Yes, I have been using the excuse that I am preparing my kids for school and job hunting.

But what is an excuse anyway but a reason to be a liar and cover personal failures? To disregard  my own words and remain the same person I was before I started? You may think I am being hard on myself and I agree I am. But I have to be this way. It's my health and long after the crisis that began this journey is forgotten, I must remember to be true and to love myself enough to accomplish this task.

Nothing but death can keep me from it...
                         Nettie in the Color Purple

Ho, ho, ho, Green Giant!

The box said Honey Brown, but that was a lie! What I got was black hair with green highlights. This is the last time I trust a $4.99 home hair color product. Lies, all lies! I was supposed to get some Beyonce hair. Instead I look like the Jolly Green Giant after playing with a faulty inkpen.

Oh Beyonce - if we could all look this good...

Work it Out!

As I reported before I cheated on my juice fast the last couple of days. I weighed myself today and YIKES, I am a startling 217.4. I am positive that I gained back the last 7.4 pound on my binge week which occured during the week of August 8 (the beginning of my fast break).

Today is a brand new day and I will not allow my failures to keep me down. I did learn that I can fast 7 days straight and I am celebrating this small success. I also learned that my body needed the fast just as much as it needs to ingest healthy on a regular basis. Believe it or not, I have been craving exercise.

Here is my stats for today.

Weight - a shocking 217.4
Exercise - 30 minutes on treadmill, 158 calories burned.

Breakfast
2 eggs
1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich
1 cup of coffee ( actually is was about 7 oz of coffee with creamer and organic milk)

I will update you about lunch, dinner, and snacks later.

Supplements and vitamins

B12 with folic acid liquid vitamin - 1 ml
spirulina - 1000 mg
MSM - 1000 mg
cinnamon w/ chromium - 1000 mg
Cod liver oil - 1 tablespoon - yes it tastes gross!
Multivitamin w/antioxidants - this (the antioxidants) is necessary for energy

School Dayz are a coming!

My kids will be going back to school in about 8 days. I even registered my 4-year for a 1/2 day of VPK. I am ohh sooo happy they are going, but a bit concerned for my little one. She can be fearful in new places.

Anyone out there have any tips to help with the new school blues?

LL Cool J make it happen

So I changed my background to that of the sultry LL Cool J. I am inspired by him, not because he is good looking but because it takes a crap load of work to look this good. Because he made a quality decision to get healthy and viola he kept his promise to himself.

I want to be this type of person. Will Smith penned - if you say your gonna run 4 miles and only run two, I never have to worry about losing a thing to you. If I don't keep this commitment to myself then I am the person he is talking about. And that is simply unacceptable.

Its Over Now

It's over now. My fast officially ended on Wednesday. But I have a confession to make... I cheated.

On Monday, I walked around thinking my fast was ending on Tuesday. But a quick look at the calendar confirmed my worst fears - two more days instead of one. I lost it... literally! All my will power went out the door. I went to Whole Foods and brought a whole naked chicken, sat down with my 4 year old and devoured half of it. Then my husband started asking me a thousand questions in the middle of my feast. My eyes involuntarily rolled in their sockets, I picked up my purse, and walked out the door chanting I need some alone time as I passed the threshold.

I found myself at Friday's with a new feast of steak, potato salad, and steamed broccoli. I devoured almost all of it including the Oreo ice cream dessert. Afterwards I felt sooo happy. I have continued to juice each morning, exercise each day, and take my vitamins. But I also eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner and snacks.

So I am on a new plan, eating healthy and exercising daily. By the way I need a new scale cause the old one started going crazy and giving me 6 different readings.

Pic derived from http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a282/ronwin/HamsterCarrot.jpg

Sea Bass, can I get some sea bass here?

All I can think about at this moment is eating Chilean Sea Bass cooked with shallots, garlic, and butter - some purple potatoes, and artichoke heart with hollandaise. And I have never even had hollandaise, but on the movie Julie and Julia that sauce looked soooo good.

I need to go grocery shopping, but my will power is waning. I think i may go in there and binge.There I am in the cookie aisle crunching on the Keebler Elf, downing chunks of chocolate chip cookies. I have been trying to think about something else all morning. I am now reasoning with myself that I should quit. I finished seven whole days, I lost a few pounds. Hey seven is the number of completion biblically right?

I keep considered what I said when I began. How I arrogantly beat my chest and professed a 10 day fast. Knowing, but not understanding, how very difficult this could be. Would I be wrong if I quit now? I feel sooo bad about contemplating ending the fast early.

Almost There

I am almost there...

Tomorrow, I will end my fast and I am looking forward to eating foods again. It has been challenging the past few days.

I purchased Naked 100% Juice Smoothie, Boosted, Green Machine. The juice was flavorful. However, I found it to be a bit too sweet for me. I noticed after I drank it I was running to the bathroom every 10 minutes or so. I believe the juice raise my sugar levels which caused me to urinate frequently. I even tried splicing it water. I drank this juice for the past 1.5 days. I then purchased the Naked Protein Juice Smoothie, Protein Zone.

After drinking these juices, the scale is now tipping at 212 lbs. So yes, I actually weigh more now than I did two days ago. I lost more weight sticking to my vegetable juice. But hey, I was busy playing with the kids and looking for my lost dogs.

In the end, I think this juice would be great for people who are working out and need the energy. However, it was not suitable for my juice fast where I did not exercise regularly. Also the green machine juice has 28 grams of sugar per serving, which is a bit too much for me.

Schnauzer for sale?

Today began innocently enough, happy kids, very happy husband eh um, and happy me. I strolled though Publix having happy conversations with the hubby. Picked up some green juice since they did not have any cute cucumbers and left the store. Came home, hubby went to bed, I took the kids and my two schnauzers for a walk-run-bike ride. Left the kids outside to play with the dogs and that's when it began.

One son ran into the other with his bike and knocked the wheel off. Handled that, but I ran late to my doctor's appointment where the assistant gave me the WTH look as I walked in apologizing. Other son calls me as I am leaving the doctor to tell me that my very cute schnauzers are missing. This is sooooo a problem. My girl Chai is extremely protective and will bite. My boy Codi is extremely friendly and will run up to anyone to play. This is a bad combination because Chai will follow Codi to the ends of the earth and feels the need to protect him from strangers.

I searched for the dogs up and down, round and round. I asked total strangers had they seen them - each person sending me in a different direction. Almost in tears and with a throbbing headache, I prayed. Lord please tell me where they are.

I was unsure at first, but the still small voice instructed me to go home, get some rest, and that the dogs would return. When I awoke, I told my husband what happened and he got dressed to begin searching. He walked outside and there they were tail wagging, barking happily. My hubby came in the house reporting the good news and asking a very good question.

Schnauzer for sale. Do we have two schnauzers for sale?

No, I replied. Chai and Codi are part of happy me.

Snotty McHottie

So I am on day 3 of my juice fast and I am considering calling myself Snotty McHottie. I have more slime than 100 snails racing toward a finishline. I am sitting on the couch with a roll of tissues and plenty of mucus to accompany them. Perhaps my snot will breed some new superpower. Snotty McHottie coming to save to the world from wayward toilet paper! Maybe not. Well maybe it will earn me a walk on roll on Grey's Anatomy? Definitely not!

So why all the mucus you ask.. Well according to JuiceFasting.org

"Juice fasting accomplishes the task of removing excess mucous, dead cells, and other entrapped foreign material and also supplies an abundant supply of nutrients which the body, in its renewed energy level, immediately utilizes to heal."

I am definitely looking forward to dropping the Snotty - and just being McHottie  :)

Weight 211.4

Image derived from mmii.info

Gosh darn sweatpants!

As you may already know, yesterday began my juice fast. I began strong, juicing every two hours - beets, kale, carrots, ginger, and squash. But then I had to make dinner for my family and I am writing to report... my miserable failure. I succumbed to chicken, broccoli, and mashed potatoes.

Soon after a horrific headache ensued - chasing me down til bedtime. It was a head throbbing, feeling like you have to vomit kinda headache. At the end of the day, there I was trying to upload my video blog on YouTube announcing to the world my shortcomings.

Weight

214.8 ? What after all that juicing, what? wait a minute...

213.1 - Okay that's better! Had to take off my watch and my heavy sweatpants.

So what's the lesson kids... watch + heavy sweatpants = 1.7 pounds and lots of confusion!

Sooo Juicy...

Today I am beginning my 10 day juice fast and I must admit I am a little afraid of failing. I spent quite a bit of money ($69) on fruits and veggies so that I can be oh soooo juicy!

Well that's not the whole truth. I believe that by doing this fast several things will occur.

   1. God will honor the sacrifice that I am making

   2. My body will respond in a positive manner

   3. My liver will be very happy since it won't have to break down all the processed food

   4. My body will be allowed to detox and get rid of all the toxins

Number 3 is very important since I do not have a gallbladder. Okay, you want the whole story about that right? I was in my twenty's when my gallbladder erupted and had to have emergency surgery to have it removed. I had never even considered it importance until now. After a bit of research I am realizing that the bile stored in the gall bladder helps in digestion so that the liver doesn't have to do all the work. My liver on the other hand is working overtime without the aid of gall bladder and the added bonus of being a body that likes to eat all kinds of fatty processed food.

So here's to you Ms. Liver! (I know you are superwoman because you are always working so very hard). I am giving you a little vacation, almost two weeks long. I hope you enjoy it.

Pic is juice made with beets, carrots, kale, ginger, and a little watermelon w/the rind on!

Weight - 213.6

Hot & Steamy, White & Creamy

Ever wanted something hot, that melted in your mouth, and made you jump up and beg for white creamy... wait a minute, I am talking about cookies and milk.

Well, as I journey toward my goal weight, I realized to be successful all temptation must be removed including fresh from the oven chocolate chip cookies served with ice cold milk. So its time for a refridgerator makeover.

Yep, that's kale, carrots, apples, cabbage, lettuce, ginger, nectarines, pineapples, onions, garlic, and "cute"cumbers. I guess if I get a craving in the middle of the nite those carrots will have to do. I mean they seem big enough to get the job done - right? 

Ya heavy baby...

I am watching the show “Heavy” as I write this. This is my second episode today. The first detailed the 90 – 110 pound weight loss of two women. From the very beginning, these women were inspiring, working hard with the trainers to be successful. The next episode details a man and woman, Travis and Lindy. Both complained about everything the trainers asked them to do. Watching them made me realize how a bad attitude can hinder me from being successful on my own weight loss journey. 

After a few minutes of their complaining I decided to cook dinner for my family – chicken, rice, and Brussel sprouts.  My son reports that Travis has dropped out of the weight loss program while I am in the kitchen. I tell him to turn the TV off. I really don’t feel like seeing someone fail at something as important as getting healthy. It only reminds me of all my own failed attempts to get the weight off.

So here I am finishing the post after dinner and a 45 minute walk on the treadmill.

Breakfast

Denny’s –  ½ of a Moon Over My Hammy, an egg fried hard and to drink- ice water. Hey the hubby wanted to eat out today and have some family time.

Lunch

Slept right through it…

Dunch – Dinner/Lunch at 3:00 p.m.

3 Chicken breast tender, Brussels sprouts, rice

Dinner

Kidney beans with ground turkey meat (and a little bit of pork for flavor!)

While on the journey, I have also committed to drinking almost a gallon of water. Today I have drank almost 100 ounces, so I am almost there.

Weight – 214

Getting it all together

Well, its 1:55 a.m. in the morning and I am up talking to you. As I stated before, I ended up in the ER on Sunday because  my blood pressure skyrocketed. Now, I am sitting at my dining room table, trying to figure out how to get it all together.

I know there is a better way to live my life. There are so many areas where I can improve - managing my finances, being a better mother, being a better person in general, but for now my focus has to be my health. I can no longer afford to ignore the signs that my health is rapidly declining. So here is are my highly embarrassing stats.

weight     -  215.10 lbs
waist       -  43 3/4 inches
hips         -  46 inches
bust         -  44 inches
arms        -  14 inches
thighs      -   27 inches

What's the plan you ask -  I am going to hook my gelatinous areas up to a vacuum machine and suck out all the fat!  Just kidding - I am going to juice, eat right, exercise, and take vitamin supplements. I know the first idea sounded better.

ER!

Sorry, I haven't written in a few days, but I was not feeling too well. Unfortunately, I ended up in the emergency room on Sunday after allowing my stress/ blood pressure to rise to 230/92. As I was being carted away on a stretcher while my kids looked on in fear, I realized that I needed to focus my efforts on getting healthy. While I wanted this blog to be a general source of inspiration, I know it will also chronicle my weight loss and a return to a healthy lifestyle. I will be linking to videos from my YouTube channel of the same name -Superwoman's mantra. Feel free to join me there as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhLdRa0ipfk&feature=channel_video_title

Bedtime Blues ends with Eyes Wide Shut





Have you ever lain in your parent’s bed as kid? Wasn’t there this overwhelming since of comfort that almost instantly lulled you to sleep?

My 4 year old has refused to sleep in her crib since she was one.  Yes, I have been lectured about my daughter sleeping in everyone else’s bed but her own by every “super” mom that I know. I have also had some not-so-super mom’s point their condescending fingers at me. But, listen, I tried I really tried… and this is what happened.

Once upon a time, I placed my daughter in her crib at her usual bedtime.  My husband had set the crib to the lowest setting to prevent her from climbing out earlier that week. We sang, read stories, prayed, kissed, hugged, and then bid our little angel farewell till morning. As my husband settled in on the couch to watch a movie, we heard a question call. You know, when your kid calls you with just enough of a high pitch inflection to let you know that they are a bit confused by your behavior – ma-ma? da-da? She then began to chant our names. At this point one of us would usually go get her, but we stood firm on our decision to let her stay in the crib. Then it got tricky, she went from a whining chant to full blown crying – screaming tears and all. This went on for about 15 minutes and then it got quiet. We were getting ready to celebrate when we heard a suspicious thud.

There was our toddler, lying face down in the beige colored carpet, wind totally knocked out of her. As I ran to her aid, I cursed myself for listening to my pediatrician, who told me to let her cry. I frantically picked her up, checking every nook, cranny, and cavity for injury. She wasn’t crying, just staring at me. I think she was in shock that she was able to get out of a crib since her head barely reached the top rail.

In that moment, I felt like the worst mom ever. I kept looking at her, checking her, and beating myself up about it. I know she is a climber. She has been climbing on everything since before she could walk. Why did I think she would not find a way to climb out of a crib when she could climb a 4 ft. bar stool? A doctor’s visit confirmed what my husband tried to assure me of that night, she was fine.

After that, the crib was broken down in a toddler bed. But, she still wouldn’t sleep in it, though we tried on many occasions over the past three years to convince her she should. As you may have guessed she simply used her new found freedom to climb into other people’s beds. Her favorite spot, after my husband kicked her out of our bed, became her oldest brother’s room down the hall. She would climb into his bed at night and then put him in a choke hold so he couldn’t leave her by herself. And that is where I find her every morning… sleep wrestling with her brother in a headlock position.

Well, make a long story short, I purchased new mattresses for everyone, including my daughter over the past several months. I even purchased her a Disney princess toddler bed. But she would cry every time I put her in the room until… I placed my old queen sized bed in her room and voila; she laid in her bed without shedding a single tear. She asked lots of questions first, then we sang, read stories, prayed, kissed, hugged, and I bid her farewell till morning. She rolled over hugged her pink and purple Pillow Pet and went to sleep.

Ah-ha, it’s the bed!

*Lexington Platform Bed from Boston Bed

Curse the Keebler Elf!



from kellogs.com



I was doing sooo good! I mean I was really on a roll. I had lost 8 pounds juicing vegetables... beets, carrots, cucumbers, and kale. I even tried putting the kale in a blender, but it ended up looking like something that belongs in an 8 month old's pamper and was promptly emptied into the garbage disposal.

But I got busy school shopping with the kids, skipped breakfast, then lunch, and by the time I went to the grocery store to buy, I mean get the stuff to make, no, no... let's be honest, buy dinner, those chocolate covered graham cracker cookies were calling me. T-I-N-A, tiiiinnnnaaaa - tina come eat me, tina come eat me! They called louder as I tried to escape to the detergent aisle. Perhaps a whiff of bleach will kill my cravings. As I rounded my shopping trip in freezer section, the kids eyed the ice-cream with longing desire. And what goes better with ice-cream than cookies.

I had to buy it. I couldn't let them eat their ice-cream without cookies. Four for you, four for you, two for you, and the rest for me. Mathematically, since I am almost three times their age (9 times the age of my youngest), I should get that many more cookies... right?

Daddy will do it!



 My daughter has an unyielding faith in her father. The other day a rather large spider was on the back porch. As a grown woman who is almost 1000% percent larger than creepy crawling intruder, I quickly ran in the house screaming like the kid from Home Alone. But my daughter, took a peak out the sliding glass door that I had slammed shut at the little spider and then looked up at me. In the cutest voice with her hands gesturing for me to calm down, she said “Don’t worry mom, Daddy will fix it.” 

For the rest of the day I watched her completely ignore the spider as she walked past it to go outside and play. She could care less that it was spinning a web in the corner of the screened patio.  When her father awoke, she pointed it out to him and watched as he smashed it to oblivion. She then turned to me and said “see mom, daddy took care of it.” Then she quickly went back to playing.

At first glance, one may think that my daughter simply trusts her dad because he is father. But this is not true. She trusts him because he has been consistently reliable – in other words he earned her trust. You can set your watch by his schedule. We all know when he is going to arrive home and leave for work each day. We know that he is the defender of our home from all things creepy crawly like spiders and ants…. And against the big things like robbers, murderers, and monsters that hide under the bed.

Some believe that faith and trust is blind, but I beg to differ. I know that I can trust my husband because he has proven himself over and over again. I am an advocate of people improving themselves and turning over a new leaf. Change can happen. But it must come from a fully made up mind and loads of self-discipline. What a person does with the least, he will do with “the much.” When establishing trust it is best to start small and observe a person’s commitment to their word.

Has someone ever told you to trust them, but has a track record of failure? How did you handle this? Who do you trust?

Tell me whatcha want...

Tell me whatcha want, whatcha really, really want…

I have this song playing in my head tell me whatcha want, whatcha really, really want.  Thinking about what I want to do next. The prospect of doing something new excites me more than most people. I have been home for the past four years nurturing my daughter and now she is begging to go to school. I picture her clanging jail bars with her big girl cup hollering let me out of here. She is ready to be free of the long handed arms of maternal law.

I have always enjoyed writing. In fact at the tender age of 11 I submitted my work to Hallmark and American Greetings, hoping to prove my writing skills for the greeting card market. Though I did not hear from Hallmark, American Greetings admitted that I had talent, but returned my samples as they were not fit for their audience. I was crushed. I continued to write, but never submitted my work to anyone except my English teacher.  I allowed fear of rejection make me stop submitting my work.

As I write this I realize that we superwomen (and men for that matter) sometimes allow fear to control us and rob us of future success. Has the fear of rejection made you stop, give up on your dreams, or sit quietly in the corner ignoring your purpose? So tell me whatcha want, whatcha really, really want (in the comments section of this blog).  And both of us can stand together believing that you can achieve it.

I am Superwoman

When I first began blogging almost a year ago, I did so with the mindset that Superwoman was dead. That the idea of such a person or woman did not exist and that I was giving up the idea of ever achieving the status deserving of such a title. But I have since had a change of heart. Perhaps I was inspired by Alicia Keys melodic voice telling me that I perhaps had achieved the illusive status already.  Either way, I understand that superwoman is not perfect, but she is the woman of steel by simply being her self. As long as the sun rises, she is renewed with a sort of dunamis power.

There will be days of kryptonite. Days when she is tired, hurt, and frustated. Days when circumstances or situations get the best of her. Days when she too bleeds like a mortal. But that does not change who she is. The fact the kryptonite can affect her proves she is Superwoman. For kryptonite does not affect mortals like it does superbeings. Superwoman doesn't beat herself up because she is suspectible to pieces of her home planet. She does not blame herself for the things (or people) that make her weak. She understands that is part of her make-up and always will be. Thus, she must attempt to avoid kryptonite or like her male counterpart, wear a suit of lead on the occasion that she knows she will encounter the element.

So much like the woman of steel portrayed in the comic books, I have learned to accept my status as a Superwoman and you should too.